Thailand!

I know it seems like ages ago that I was visiting temples in Cambodia and promising to write about... I'll get there. I promise. For now, I'll recap our trip to Thailand while it's (relatively) fresh.

Our trip from Siem Ream to the border consisted of a taxi ride ($40 for the 2 hour ride). Here I learned some valuable lessons about driving etiquette in Cambodia. For instance:

1. The yellow line in the middle of the two lane road is actually a third lane in itself. Leave your western "two lane = two cars" conceptions at the door, silly.

2. It is acceptable to pass on the shoulder or in between two cars at any time. Ignore your passengers squealing in the back seat.

3. Horn honking should be reserved ONLY for the following occasions: when passing, when you are behind someone, when you are in front of someone, when you are next to someone, when you want to alert someone to your presence in case they didn't honk first, when a fly hits the windshield, when you adjust your seat or when adjusting the radio. Don't abuse the horn, people. There aren't any Schucks around here. (If there were, however, surely they would only carry replacement car horns.)

4. Toyotas are the bomb here. All hail the Toyota.

5. If you find your truck cab to be full of rice or farm animals, it is acceptable to cram your 14 passengers in the back of the truck, hanging on for dear life.

6. If you find you have 15 passengers, the extra passenger can sit on that handy extra seat: the hood of the car.

7. Only have a motorcycle or moped? No worries! The entire family can fit on that bike. Asians are skinny, remember?

8. Two-year-olds are responsible for hanging on themselves. If you are old enough to grip a bottle, you're old enough to hang on to a handlebar at 30 miles per hour.

9. Oh, and speed limits? Not necessary because the speedometer in your Toyota doesn't work anyway.

Needless to say, it was an interesting ride.

We made it through the border with minimum hassle (save for my potty break episode) and found a bus to Bangkok. On our 5 hour ride we enjoyed some Thai TV programing. It was a variety show featuring singing, choreographed dances, gaggy game shows and black face. Oh, and little people as a punchline. Oh, that's right, and jokes about Pakistanis. It must have been a good one because our bus was rolling with laughter.

Our arrival into Bangkok was a little frantic because we didn't really know where we were and Krista has been a naughty packer and likes to wear dresses that catch when she tries to put her giant, heavy backpack on. We made it to our hotel, eventually, to find we had been upgraded to a suite. This room was awesome. Until the power went out. Then it flickered back on, then off, then on, then made a weird electrical hum then our phone rang with nobody there then it rang again. You know how I love a good ghost story? You know where my mind went, right? We decided that would be a lovely time to get some street food, provided we didn't have to walk down the 19 flights of stairs. (We didn't... Generator popped on!)

The streets are abuzz (is that a word? it is now) with people selling shirts, watches, glasses and that thing I may have mentioned once or twice before: food. We found a fly-by-night restaurant and took our chances ordering by pointing at pictures. I had some lovely (if spicy) green curry and Gwenn had the cashew chicken. I would find this to be a theme over the next couple of days: Krista is "adventurous" and ends up burning her face off. Meanwhile, the heat lover (thumbs to Gwenn) gets the mild dishes I end up eating once my charred gums recover enough to chew.

I got to see the Nana district, which is where all the bars are. Well, the bars where you can buy ladies. I had asked for it, I wanted to see this part of Thailand because I had heard the stories. Now, this wasn't the ping pong show. (I wanted to see that too but ended up spending that money on a painting instead. Are my priorities whacked or what???) These were the bars full of Thai girls with numbers pinned to them and old, white men foaming at the mouth as the girls dance with vacant, lifeless expressions for them... waiting for their number to be picked. It was sad. And gross.

We wanted to get some beach time in. Correction: I wanted to get some beach time in and made Gwenn go with me. We took a 2 hour bus ride the next day to Hua Hin. It's on the Gulf of Thailand side of the country. At first I was a little discouraged. The town was full of puffy, sunburned Europeans. These weren't the sandy beaches full of bungalows I had expected. But, after a day of settling in, we found some things to love about the town: The night markets and their labyrinths of things to buy. The restaurants in the night markets advertising their fresh seafood by displaying it next to the grill for you to see as you walk by. Full of bright blue prawns, purple squid, strange fish with teeth, the prettiest blue-green mussels you've ever seen and crabs so fresh they were still moving... The smells and the hiss of the grills as you walked by was amazing. We found a quiet strip of beach and some sweet street dogs to give the leftovers to. Every Thai we encountered was smiley and sweet and helpful. The mango and sticky rice was delicious. AND we ended up finding a room on a pier. Like, over the water. You could see the waves through our floorboards. That was truly special.

We opted to book a tour of a nearby waterfall and an elephant ride. I'll write about this in a separate entry, since this one is getting long!

Stay tuned!